Is a lust buster turning off your sexual switch? If steamy thoughts rarely cross your mind, if erotic images leave you cold, or if you go out of your way to avoid having sex, odds are the answer is yes. Even if a sexless relationship doesn’t bother you, it’s likely to irk your partner. Here’s how to uncover the lust buster that’s blocking your sexual side:
1. Stress
Juggling work, family and other activities makes most women stressed. And while men tend to want sex as a stress reliever, tension turns women off.
Here’s why: When you’re in stressful situations your body releases the stress hormone cortisol, which some researchers say causes a nosedive in your level of testosterone, the hormone that controls your libido.
Women naturally produce less testosterone than men, which might explain why we lose our interest in sex more easily
The following three stress-inducing situations can also squash your sex drive:
a. Pink-slipped
Losing your job can be a big blow to your self-worth. Combine it with the financial worries of being out of work and sex is likely to be the last thing on your mind. Who feels like slipping into lingerie when her head is filled with mortgages and car payments?
b. Getting set to say ‘I do’
Many engaged women panic more about the life-changing commitment they’re about to make than about wedding planning itself. This causes them to push away from their fiancé not only emotionally but physically, too.
c. Falling in love
Marriage isn’t the only thing that can sabotage your sex drive.
When you fall in love, your testosterone and dopamine levels soar. But after the infatuation stage, couples grow comfortable with each other and their hormones calm down.
Lust buster help: Stress is multi-faceted, so you need a comprehensive solution.
Start with a balanced diet, regular exercise and a full eight hours of sleep.
Try stress-reducing activities, like meditation or writing in a journal.
If you have too much on your plate, rearrange your schedule with your top priorities.
And make a point to use sex as a stress-reliever. Even when you’re not in the mood, do it anyway.
2. Overweight
Good sex feels great, but you have to feel good about yourself to enjoy it.
With a poor body image, you’re likely to put up a wall to block anything that feels remotely sexual because you’re too uncomfortable or embarrassed. Let that behavior become a habit, and you can lose your sex drive completely.
Lust buster help: If you can’t get comfortable in your own skin until you lose weight, find a weight-loss program that will work for you. Choose an exercise routine that’s fun and challenging. Being more active will help burn extra calories, boost energy levels and have you feeling and looking better in no time.
In the meantime, emphasize your best features, like your sexy legs, and flaunt them for your partner.
3. Conflict
Women sometimes withhold sex because they’re resentful, bitter or angry toward their partner.
You might still love him when you’re mad, but chances are you won’t feel very attracted to him. You may feel more in the mood to brood than to cuddle. Sex often takes a backseat until the conflicts in the relationship have been resolved.
Lust buster help: Never go to bed angry. “Stay up and fight,” as Phyllis Diller would say. Don’t allow anger to linger and turn into something worse. Or use your anger for some really great make-up sex. You might just forget what you were arguing about in the first place.
4. Antidepressants
Antidepressants are notorious for causing low sex drive and inhibiting performance in the bedroom. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) like Prozac, Zoloft and Paxil are among the worst culprits.
Why? SSRIs are filled with serotonin, a chemical that signals satiety and leaves women feeling no urge to have sex. Depression itself can also lower libido.
You might still love him when you’re mad, but chances are you won’t feel very attracted to him. You may feel more in the mood to brood than to cuddle. Sex often takes a backseat until the conflicts in the relationship have been resolved.
Lust buster help: Never go to bed angry. “Stay up and fight,” as Phyllis Diller would say. Don’t allow anger to linger and turn into something worse. Or use your anger for some really great make-up sex. You might just forget what you were arguing about in the first place.
5. Pregnancy
Some women find that their sex drive fluctuates along with their stage of pregnancy.
After giving birth, new moms are often simply too tired, too sore or too preoccupied to be in the mood. Others find it difficult to reconcile their sexual identity with their maternal one.
Another culprit: Prolactin, the hormone released by breastfeeding moms, combined with other hormonal changes, can quash your libido.
Lust buster help: It’s easy to pull out the pregnancy card when your husband wants to get frisky. But if you’re comfortably pregnant, and just not in the mood, do it anyway.
If you need more help with the baby after giving birth, ask your hubby for it. Or have a family member or friend come over to baby-sit so that you can get dressed up and have a date night. It’ll help you reconnect with how it feels to be a woman and a lover, not just a mommy.
